My Private War
Somewhere between Anonymous Confessions and Mercy, I was dealing with depression .. and right when things were going well on the outside.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Somewhere between Anonymous Confessions and Mercy, I was dealing with depression .. and right when things were going well on the outside.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
63 Replies to “My Private War”
Thanks for being honest about the struggles. We all struggle in various ways for the same reasons. And we all think we don’t need help. But we do.
But God knows that and it’s why He came to fix us at the Cross then spend our lifetime fixing us day by day.
And writing the songs for Mercy at that point of your life is exactly what we all need.
We are all lunatics lol but we have a great Big Friend who can handle it.
Hi Linda Oh!!! LOL thanks for always bein here
Anonymous Confessions is one of my favorite albums. Not favorite Bryan Duncan albums, favorite albums. I feel the struggle in it and greatly appreciate the honesty.
thanks for the endorsement I must say it was not a popular project for the marketing staff at Myrrh records
“A human being, not a human doing.”
Wow! That one hit me square between the eyes.
Wouldn’t it be easier to be addicted to drugs and alcohol?
I need that heavenly light right now.
Thanks for sharing.
Hi DF! thanks.. you’ve been a real encouragement to me in the last several months of knowing you too.. glad to have you around.. “in the counsel of anyone but me” could have been a translation of the bible!~ LOL
Hey Bryan, I really appreciate your honesty and transparency. I’m a big fan.
thanks for your endorsement.. I struggled to even tell a portion of this story.
you are open and honest and try to be real? which mood suits you best when you bring up older memory
Hi D Roo… my mood anxiety! about what I my be punished for saying
I just pulled you up on Wikipedia and there is not much listed in the personal life category so…thanks for sharing these stories. I’ve never been the main character in an intervention but we all struggle and pretend to be ok. I guess we all lie to ourselves and others. Romans 6 is a favorite passage. I Thought ” Slaves to righteousness” could be an interesting band name or S2R for short but I guess if a band member pulls a Michael English then we might be ridiculed to change the band name to “Slaves to Sin” but in reality ” Forgiven” would be appropriate. Grace seems to be in short supply in this world but God has an infinite supply to freely give.
thanks for your insights DC and for continuing to support NS going forward
Thank you for sharing the truth about how we all struggle in our faith from time to time. I love that you are transparent and real with your story.
Hi Janey.. good to hear from you on here! thanks for your encouragement
This is why I have always loved your music. Like King David you are real about your walk with God. The ups and downs. The growth, love, joy and pain.
thanks Ken for the up lift
It is amazing when we look back and realize how God took our failures and used them for His good. God bless you Bryan. He is not done yet.
thanks Hargis nice to hear from ya ..
This is why I have always loved your music. Like King David you are real about your walk with God. The ups and downs. The pain, growth, love, joy.
Wow. Thank you for sharing that. You are letting Jesus bless others through being open about your struggles.
Hi Paige, this one was hard.. being careful to not sensationalize my “testimony”
You and David, your honesty and willingness to be open about your struggles, have made for the best songs and Psalms. you are in such good company on your authenticity and we love that about you!
Thanks for your encouragement it means a lot and keeps me moving forward
You were certainly reminding me of my own journey as I listened to this. Thanks for sharing.
Happy to have a new method of delivering encouragment thanks for your comments always
Hey Bryan! I love how your’s…OUR’S is such a …But, GOD story!
Even if I don’t comment; I’m listening! I hear you!
Your story can be retold 1 million times. It is true of all of us …all of us! Even if we don’t acknowledge it.
How wonderful to be the child of a God… A creator King… Who seeks after us. Who runs to us! I’m super thankful that you are continually obeying him and sharing your story. It is so liberating for those who still find their self in a “doing” place.
Stay strong! Love and blessings!
nicely said “find myself in a doing place” seems like that would be a good thing! LOL unless you listen to this story! So glad you told me you listen but no comments a lot.. at least I know yer listening
I have no words, seems I should write my own letter to God.
Thanks…
I still do that in my head.. I also wrote a book “Spoke To God.. He Said” its funny cause God speaks to me in unfinished sentences.. I’ll send it to ya
Thanks
always great to see you in the comments MK
I used to feel bad just for feeling bad. I couldn’t see God’s grace. Almost walked away from everything, until I felt the Lord’s embrace.
Honestly music like yours is what helped me through most of my doubt. Still find I need it. Thank you again for your openness and Honesty Brian. Loved this.
Thanks for sayin’ KP! I have often thought what a mistake I made writing a diary of my daily walk rather than bein’ a cheerleader for Jesus.. that was always a more popular career choice as I see it.
Oh my darlin brother ,might start calling you Rabbi lol because you are teaching me ..yes I know all that you are saying and first hand experience is a certain thing lol and oh yea God arguments lol woohoo ..this whole relationship thing is a day to day process…. get up and crucify that nasty flesh every day and resubmit to His will and way not our own ..thank you Jesus for MERCY love you Bro and I am proud to be a lunatic lol
LOL .. I don’t play a Rabbi on t.v. either LOL thanks for your encouragement. nothin in life looks familiar these days..
As a late teenager around 18 years old I discovered Sweet Comfort Band, and at that time i was going through things that i guest most young people go through. I found a place of comfort when i use to listen to you on my stereo record player in my room.It seem like a bit of therapy as i look at it now in retrospect, something that kinda calmed me and had me reflecting on things more positive. The songs were great with an unbelievable infectious groove to them that helped me a lot. Now I’m almost 63 now and i always through out the years of loving your music kinda had a sense that something more is being said in these songs cause if you ever listen to the words you know that nobody writes like that with out going through something .I couldn’t put my finger on it but i somehow knew. Now I know. Bryan being able to flesh out your inner struggles in songs might have been hard at times but believe me they made it a little less hard for a lot us through out the years if that’s any consolation. Thank You for being real and honest in yours songs and what you went through in making them!
thanks Charlie.. good to see you in the comments too. I learned how to use double entandre for that very reason.. had to say thing the could mean more than you’d think
I remember describing your music to someone years ago as Christian struggle songs. Not the typical- once I found Jesus my life is perfect stuff that has no relationship to my reality. I was a mess before and while I’m not as bad a mess as I use to be, I’m still a mess. But now I have a savior and a desire to be better than the man I know I am.
there’s a nutshell sermon in that one Hutch! thanks for endorsing what I’ve always felt. I’ve often thought that my ‘diary of faith’ was a mistake in the way of successful career moves.People want a quick fix, they don’t wanna hear about ‘maintenance’ LOL I get it
My wife was listening to “The Last Time I Was Here” and the song “Glad Morning” really jumped out at her. She said to me “This song sounds like it’s about depression.” She and I are veterans on dealing with depression and anxiety throughout our lives. Thanks for your candidness. We love your music!
thanks for sharing part of your lives with me. I am covering all my records eventually, That one is coming too. Personally Glad Morning was one I thought would resonate better than it did. But maybe a lot of people don’t wanna think about it
I can really relate to this nutshell sermon. I feel this is something everyone must go through. Some quicker and easier than others. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for commenting RR.. this part of my story was harder to find a balance for as well. longest 8 minutes that I can remember LOL
stellar. almost everyone has these struggles. its good that you had the quality of friends to provide the intervention. that may be where many lack. we guard ourselves so much we don’t have enough true friends close enough that would be willing to speak into others lives (for the right reasons). instead the ones we have are likely to turn and put you on blast on social media. the more i know, the more i appreciate you.
just curious, what’s your role in your home church? backup singer? pew sitter? sunday school teacher? lead vocal? pastor? i would think music would be something you shy away from in the church so others could use their God-given talents and gives you a break from being the front person. i know Steve Camp changed his role a bit and became a pastor, but maybe because he blacklisted himself from the whole CCM. no need to answer these questions if their too personal. i was just curious.
Thanks for your questions. I played back up stuff for my local worship band until recently. Pastor doesn’t like my pragmatism. He favors the Joel Olsteen approach to presentations. I stopped going after Christmas as my concerts were coming back on the weekends. But I prefer singing the songs God gave me in the first place over the generic approach of the new worship stuff. Nutshellsermons has been a new wrinkle in my calling. it beats a sunday school class for me
Thanks for sharing this story Bryan!!!
yer welcome RS .. I keep em brief to avoid too many questions! LOL
You’ll be Greatly Rewarded for Helping Us with these “Rip My Heart Out” Vulnerable Autobiographical stories & thoughts. Can’t Thank You Enough ‼️
yer welcome I guess.. RT.. this one was not fun and I left out a lot of the painful details! Thanks for the encouragement. I forgot that my weakness shows God’s perfect strength
To have a “private war” while constantly being in public view has a tough burden to bear. In the previous nutshell, You broke down being a Preacher’s Kid in one of your Nutshells last year that hit spot on what it felt like. Everything was always about the unsaved and those outside of our home. I’ve got some resentment when it comes to the “ministry” because I often feel it required so much preference to “others” instead of our family itself. The identities battled– is this for The Church or just For US?
To hear you speak about your intervention of 12 people pulled the shades open— a difficult thing for me to do without feeling deep guilt and shame for my mistakes, battle, struggle.
Thanks for Your transparency in these sermons/messages. It reminds me that someone can relate. I often feel like I have a brokenness that can quite be healed. Talking about it weighs on me, and a physical pain from a car accident 12 years ago tends to represent this emotional battle/ trauma in physical form. I often feel that I have substituted Actively trusting God with my own ways of handling things. I’m searching to reestablish my foundation. I appreciate everyone who has shared.
Hi FC yea, we often have our own ways of handling things.. they seldom work out but man, I hate to wait on God’s deliverance
Hi Bryan, Phil Lugo from OnBendedKnee, I really appreciate your honesty and genuine humility. Most in the church want to put on a mask at church and rip it off at home. We the church must practice more grace and make it easier for those of us struggling to come forward and recieve the love that Jesus showed the people. Thanks again, brother.
Hi Phil I remember yer band! trouble with being honest is you get punished for it.. I’ve been booted from more churches than you can imagine.. and sometimes just for not saying ‘safe words’ like I’m blessed or praise the Lord and not sayin Jesus name enough LOL but over the long haul I’m seeing that it’s made a difference to many on this podcast who have felt disenfranchised by religion
Too often we think we have it right and we are so wrong…
I find myself too often doing the things I know I shouldn’t, wretched man that I am.
Can’t wait until this voyage is over.
Hi M.A. nice to hear from ya, Thanks for resonating! yea it feels that way sometimes, maybe we’re lookin at the wrong things.. to me my failures feel like a barking dog in the orchestra. in the recording studio we had ‘glitches’.. and we’d joke ‘we’ll just fix that in the mix’ LOL
Thanks for your transparency and vulnerability, Bryan! I see alot of people listening to you who are saying the same thing…It’s so hard to do…
Paul wasnt’ terribly specific about that comment about doing what he didn’t wanna do. but even I don’t wanna be specific either so we just call it our Lower nature! …broken since the fall
None are perfect until the Perfect comes. The answer is always humility and surrender to Him and His will on at least a daily basis.Also to praise and worship Him just because He says so. And to ask for even the little things in the processes of each day and each task. This is the only way I can survive on a daily basis.
this is my life right now.. fraid to ask and be disappointed
Just make like Nike, and just do it anyway. Nothing to lose.
reminds me of the drug slogan Just say no.. never found that to be effective when it keeps coming back
Dude, I had the same experience. Due to some early childhood trauma, I ended up addicted to a terrible vice. And for 40+ years of holding on to the addiction while trying to hold on to Jesus. The old saying that I know you’ve heard before, “If Jesus isn’t Lord of ALL, He’s not Lord at ALL!!” A few months ago I finally let go of the addiction and grasped on to Jesus and I’m not letting go. That’s my story………. In a nutshell!!
Nice of you to share Todd thanks.. there are still things I ‘let go’ of and then go back and get em!